Walk the Wire by David Baldacci

 

(Please click the link to visit my blog, read this review in its entirety, and browse other recent Rawles' Reads!)

This might be the best Amos Decker yet, excepting the first one! Wowza!!!!  So many plot twists and murders and connections and surprises in this classic Baldacci thriller.  Decker and Jamison are in North Dakota to investigate a strange murder/dead body, and we go along for the ride to learn all about fracking, small town politics, best friends who drift apart, jealousy, affairs, and a couple of surprise cameos by characters that will have discerning readers jumping with literary joy.

Ok, maybe not jumping, but I did pump my fist.  Once.

Keep it a surprise and don't read more reviews!  That is one that should not be spoiled.  

Baldacci's style is typical here - short sentences, very little bridging between scenes ("They drove to the house.  He thought about the case.  Decker left." (HA, I love it when Decker just ups and leaves the room in mid-sentence.))  But in this one the case itself is so complicated I almost needed a character list to keep track.  Definitely kept my attention!

I am also very intrigued at how Decker's abilities and conditions seem to be mutating.  In the last book or two he has had brief scenes of empathy and understanding, which are lacking because of his brain injury from football years ago.  Jamison notices and isn't sure what to think about her partner and dare I say bff.  I like that there is no romance between the two.  But she sure does look out for him, as he does for her.  Nice.

{One small complaint - I get annoyed that the author refers to everyone by their last names.  The victims, the main characters, and ok fine this is what really bugs me - the women!!!  The Southern girl in me gets tripped up by this.  Maybe it is a policeman lingo thing, so I guess I get it for his partner Jamison (who he sometimes calls Alex - pick one!). But for the victims?  Just call her Irene for goodness sake!  Or Ms. Cramer.  Or the Victim (although, too many victims here to warrant a singular).  A small thing in the overall, but still, wondering if anyone else thinks this way?}

This is a great story, I love The Memory Man, and won't say much more about the plot.  If you are  a Memory Man fan, you should definitely read this one.  I have read them all in order, but I am not sure you really need to do so.  Of course, the first one you need to read, and I prefer to read books like this in order personally.  But I think you could skip the fourth one, and just dive into the fifth and sixth.  Some similarities in the small town bust scenario, but worth it.  

Redemption by David Baldacci

 

Back on track, Decker!  (This is #5 in the series....#4 wasn't really my favorite.)

The fourth book in the Memory Man series is fabulously convoluted and twisty and I did not see everything coming.  And neither did Decker.  WHAT???  He notices and remembers EVERYTHING!

Some of this tangled web becomes obvious and Baldacci tries to slip in some overlooked clues which I caught.  But whoa Nelly, I did not see the overall result coming!!  

Decker goes back to his hometown annually to visit the grave of his daughter, murdered one night several years ago while he was staying late at work to try to solve another case.  His guilt is overwhelming and he channels his energies into tracking down other killers.  As he visits the graveside, an elderly man approaches him and declares his innocence.  Amos recognizes him as his first case - found guilty of four murders.  Could Amos have been mistaken in his work?  Infathomable!

But....yet, Amos begins to delve into what really happened all those years ago, and more questions than answers pile up, along with additional dead bodies.  Reunited with his former police partner while Alex Jamison heads back to FBI headquarters, Amos struggles with his own guilt, with whether the case was a set up, and who was involved and why.  Some simple language and syntax in this one keeps it from being a five star read.  This is not prose, but it is a very good mystery/crime drama!

The Fallen by David Baldacci

 

One of my favorite writers and series (The Memory Man/Amos Decker series), but this offering was not as strong as the first three.  A timely topic indeed with the emphasis on the epidemic of drug use in our country and the existence of bad cops, and I did like putting Alex front and center in this story, with some background and family life from her side.  Still definitely worth a read; I always hate giving three stars even though that does mean I LIKED it, because it seems like I am being critical.  But, there are better Baldaccis out there and this one was just not the best in the series.  I still like Amos and his uncanny abilities, and we are given a hint in this installment that his lack of empathy towards others may be softening, as may his ability to remember every single detail (both conditions stemming from a TBI on the NFL football field years ago).  Looking forward to seeing how that twist on the entire premise of why Amos is such a good investigator holds forth in future installments!!!

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

 

First of all, I gave this three stars on Goodreads, which means I liked it ok.  Not that I hated it.  If I hated it, I would not even be rating it (which I guess negates the whole star process if I never rate anything bad.....) 

This book is sad.  So sad, all the lost opportunities to show love and support and tell your truth.  We know from the get go that Lydia is dead (see one of the greatest first lines ever!!).  But we don't know how or why.  What we learn about Lydia and her family along the way of this brief but heartbreaking story is typical and devastating at the same time.  Themes of racism, bullying, parental transference, a frustrated housewife, an overlooked youngest child.... all come together to attempt to piece it all together.

But this puzzle is complicated, and some answers are never to be known.  I found it a struggle to get through this one.  Not much hope here and I worried all along about the long term affects on the kids mostly.  Still, I persisted.

And the last 10 pages made it worthwhile.  Beautiful introspective language and a tiny bit of hope if not redemption.  Those last ten pages were amazing, giving the reader a glimpse into what happens in future years.  I loved how the author did that.  Still, I did not really enjoy the read until the end, and then of course the title makes sense in more ways than one.  This probably would be a good book club selection because I do think there is a LOT to talk about, but if you are looking for a light entertaining read, I'd say this one is heavy and a bit gloomy, so just be aware.

The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo

In the interest of not giving TOO many five stars, this one is a solid four, four and a half. Which means I really liked it!!! (So much pressure with these stars, y'all.....) Reminiscent of a Lianne Moriarty but confined to one family.

My friend Kim (thanks for the lend!) stated it best when she told me, "If you like This is Us, you'll like this book." SO TRUE!! The author takes one year in the life of a family of six and then delves back in time in a zig zag to fill in the blanks for the reader. Four sisters with two parents who are madly truly deeply sickeningly in love survive secrets big and small, imagined and never dreamed of, unthinkable and totally relatable. Each sister has her own personality but I definitely felt Wendy, the oldest, was the most fleshed out, and the wildest yet most stable of the bunch, followed by her Irish twin Violet, whom I did not find very likable. Liza gets kind of lost in the middle, and Gracie, well, typical youngest child really - but I would read another book just about Gracie! And of course each sister has her own way of trying to emulate her parents' perfect pairing. It's a lot of stress!!!

Anyway, a great read, kept me interested even with all the plot twists and sisterly arguing and family love and OH THE DRAMA!!! But the drama is not overdone, even if you do wonder if any family has this much going on (they do, I assure you, you just don't hear about it on Facebook, duh). Each sister has her own "THING" going on, and the introduction of a new family member (or two) shakes things up big time. Past losses are revealed, current lies unearthed, and one huge health event later, we have ourselves a novel just waiting for the big screen. Different chapters focus on the backstories of the different sisters, but I could see the whole thing being told from Wendy's point of view, or maybe even from David's (the Dad). And the best part of all, the Title of the book is, well, the most fun I ever had with a title reveal. ;-)

Becoming Mrs. Lewis by Patti Callahan

 

(Please click the link to read the entire review if you are receiving this through an email.  Thanks!)

I know I said I would be better about giving so many five star reviews, but damn this was good, too!!!

Fascinating historical fiction about the woman who loved and was loved by C. S. Lewis.  Yes, THAT C. S. Lewis.  Joy Davidman was an American housewife, mother, author and poet who began a years long correspondence with Lewis after experiencing a similar conversion into Christianity.  They finally met, developed a deep friendship, and as her marriage to an abusive husband crumbles, she realizes she feels very deeply for Lewis as their conversations and letters continue.  He is a confirmed bachelor and is troubled by her eventual divorce and how that is viewed by the church.  Their relationship is beyond special, and moves slowly through all four types of love.

Callahan imagines Joy's thoughts, letters, conversations and life in such detail that this reader was not only thoroughly engrossed, but almost convinced she was reading an autobiography from beyond.  The use of first person here is magnificent - I felt as if Joy were my best friend in the world and telling me her life story.  Mission accomplished, fair researcher and author!!!!

And research galore is to be had here.  Through interviews with Joy's son and deep dives into just about everything written by and about Joy and Lewis, Callahan gives us a true gift.  This is a love story, yes, but it is really a story of a singular, strong, ahead of her time Woman who loved fiercely, spoke her mind, raised two boys, and followed her heart, all the while respecting and nurturing the man she loved, admired, and waited for.  Miracles abound even in tragedy, and paradox is truth.  The parallel story of religion and conversion and faith is not overdone here, but is of course an important part of their lives and stories.  How fascinating to have even an imagined glimpse into the friendship between Lewis and Tolkien, the mention of other famous authors of the time, and of the character that is the city of Oxford.  I borrowed this book, but may have to purchase my own copy, as well as dive into Lewis' and Joy's works.  I have only ever read the Chronicles of Narnia, but now feel the need to read more.  

If you love to read, if you appreciate the life of writers, if you want to be engrossed in a story of England and lore and love and friendship, this is the book for you. My book club loved it and we had one of our best ever discussions about this book, their story, and what Lewis' writings have meant to us.  I especially loved the reveal of how Lewis gave himself his nickname.  Well done Callahan, I feel like this is probably the work you were meant to share with your readers the most.  Very impressive.

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett

 

The Vanishing Half 

(remember, because I can't work my blog (ugh), you need to click on the link above to read the entire review on my blogsite, Thank you!!)

I may never give another five star rating again.

Yeah, ok, I will, but THIS is the kind of book that truly deserves the five stars.  This is the book those stars should be reserved for.

Gorgeous writing.  Poignant.  Gut punching.  Deeply introspective.  So many sentences I wanted to copy down and post and reread and just BE IN.

Timely topics not many writers would be brave enough to tackle.  Vernacular you can hear in your head, easily.  Identity as you see it, as you feel it, as you CHOOSE others to see.  Very interesting.  Heartbreaking secrets and sliding doors.

Intrigued, yet????  You should be.

Two sisters (twins!). Two cousins (who did not know the other existed - until...).  Very different lives.  So many threads here, it is hard to review.  I liked Desiree's story more I think, but Stella's is equally important and heartbreaking for so many different reasons.  Choices really do alter lives.  Sometimes for the better, but not always for the best.  The ending is my only complaint - it seemed abrupt - but really I think what the author wanted to say had been said.  The characters moved on, but I was not ready to let them go. I wanted to know more of where they were going.

But the story was about where they'd been.  Loved how the author jumped around in time a bit, ever moving forward.  Hopefully her characters will all move forward after the end.  I can see them just nodding, like, yep, ok, we're good now.

So, go read this book.

The End.

Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver

 

THIS is why I love reading.

Barbara Kingsolver is a Writer.  One of my favorite books is The Poisonwood Bible.  There is nothing else like it.  It is a tough read, a long read, but did I mention she is a WRITER???

This is another of the (many) books that have been collecting dust on my shelf for several years.  In my Covid Reading Challenge of reading mainly the books on my TBR shelf, I finally picked this one up.  I have no reason for why I delayed, and if it happens to be on your shelf, go get it - NOW.

Some reviews point out that this novel is too full of overly descriptive nature.  Maybe.  I didn't mind it.  The story is in three arcs, set at the same time.  Like three novellas about three neighbors in the same farmland town near the Appalachian Mountains.  They do not seem connected by anything other than their location, and their individual connections to nature: a "bugologist," a Forest Warden who has isolated herself on the mountain, and a tree cross pollinator and his crazy neighbor who refuses to use any chemicals at all in her apple orchard.  (Her encounters with the tree man are some of the best dialogue and inner musings I have read in a while.  Loved it.) 

The poignancy of the life of the city girl turned farmer's wife is so touching.  I liked her character fine and would have read an entire novel about her.

The character and history behind and future of the Warden, not to mention her knowledge of her mountain, was so fascinating I hated when her chapters ended.

And while some of the connections are pretty obvious, you may still get a surprise or two.  But it should be no surprise in the capable hands of Kingsolver.  She is a genius. Species Genius Writerus.

Lockdown Vent number I cannot remember: Terminology and Normality

I love words.  Beautiful, descriptive words and sentences.  I am a Reader.  I love prose.  But:

Social Distancing.

Flatten the Curve.

Masks Required.

Synchronous.

Lockdown.

Quarantine.

Quarantini.

PPE.

Zoom Bombers.

Covid Cancelled.

Six Feet Apart.

Doomscrolling.

Mask it or Pack it (college hashtag)

And the Granddaddy of them all - NEW NORMAL.

Oh, my God, if I hear that one more time!  I am so sick of hearing that we are living in a New Normal.  There is nothing normal about life in the United States of America right now.  Yes, it is an Election year (insult to injury much?).  Yes, it is August so "school" has started back in a variety of Non-Normal forms.  Yes, it is still hot as heckfire down here in the South.  But it is also still March in my head.  Summer never happened.  Just the same day OVER AND OVER again.  One friend said her son hit the nail on the head when he said, moping,"Mom, I have nothing to look forward to."  

Wow.

I have heard several people lately (six months into the COVID-19 pandemic) say they are feeling unmoored, strange, can't-put-their-fingers-on-it weird.  It is not really depression, just unfocused and exhausted.  This morning I read an article about "surge capacity" and that we are at its limit (linked below).  A couple of other new terms hit me pretty hard in this piece: how our "rhythms of life" are upended and for people who like a schedule, this has been devastating. For over-achievers who are not allowed to achieve in the usual way, this has been devastating.  (Not to mention those who have suffered from the virus itself, either personally or through loss - extremely devastating.)

Another term this author used is the current feeling of "disinterested boredom," which I totally get.  I find myself standing in my kitchen some days.  Literally just standing there.  I cannot make a decision as to what to do, and my usual interests have waned a bit after six months, so I end up doomscrolling - WAY too much scrolling.  Even my weekly To-Do lists are not really helping much.  I am still reading and enjoying that, but still also feel guilty just sitting there and reading a book.  I still feel like I should be doing Something (and I just realized I might be reading but the reviewing part...well......).  But, all these restrictions mean that I have to find a new Something to do.  And anything new is, well, restricted.  ARRGGGGHHHHH!

Six months ago my omniscient husband said to me, "This is going to last at least six months."  I guffawed.  Seriously?  Who could think this sudden halt to life as we knew it on March 14 would last into the fall and disrupt going back to school?  Who could think the numbers would get so high for positives and deaths?  Who could think that this mind-numbing lockdown of Normal might even last two years?  It is like a never ending labor with no delivery in sight.  

I am usually a very positive person.  I am all about the silver linings.  But even my linings are starting to tarnish.  I am watching my family lose their joy.  I have not seen my parents since Christmas and they only live an hour and a half away.  Granted, I have lost no family or friends to this virus (but I know those who have).  For that I am very grateful, so I know I should have nothing to complain about in the big scheme of things.

However, here we are in the little scheme of things, living every day and Groundhogging it like crazy. Pun intended, ha.  Give yourself grace, they say.  Pick up a new hobby, they say.  Do Something for others Clean out your Closet Enjoy the Slower Pace Blah Blah Blah.

I am officially OVER IT.  I hereby announce and require that going forward the term should be "This Temporary Normal."  At least that gives me some hope.  I understand in my head that we can never really go back to what Normal was pre-Covid (oh, there is another new term), but I must sincerely also believe that the current way of life will be Temporary.

Ok, wow.  I have heard other people say they felt a blog post coming on (Hello, Dartinia! And her blog posts are required reading, see below).  But, I never felt the push as much as I did this morning.  Self Care sometimes just means blowing off steam and not being sorry for it.  I mean, I can't go get a massage!  I think I will go hit the Treadmill (I am focused on those iFit Challenge Magnets - like an obsession!! Here's to hoping that is NOT a temporary normal even if the treadmill was a Covid Purchase), take a shower before 3:00, watch another episode of The Umbrella Academy, and promise to write more blogs.  

And be more like Lauren, who posted this morning about her new habit of walking the church gardens while listening to our service.  She loves it.  She shares it.  It calms her and gives her a schedule.  Now, that is the kind of "New Normal" - positivity - I can get behind.  Will it be temporary?  Probably.  But Lauren's post put the reins on my despair a little bit, as did the article below.  Plus, I called Dartinia.  Life's silver linings got a little shinier just now.  Nice.

I feel better now.  I just feel sorry for the person at Webster who has to add all these new terms to the dictionary.

Your "Surge Capacity" is Depleted article by Tara Haelle:  

https://elemental.medium.com/

Dartinia's blog:  https://medium.com/@dartiniahull

Lauren's blog: https://ourteachertribe.com/blog/

Maya Angelou's Collected Biographies

(please click on the link to access the entire review(s!))

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings

Gather Together in My Name

Singin' and Swingin' and Getting Merry Like Christmas

The Heart of a Woman

All God's Children Need Travelling Shoes

A Song Flung Up to Heaven

These are the six titles in the Collected Biography of Maya Angelou.  And every one of them should be required reading.  Each are very different but they flow together with the Angelou's fabulous command of the written word, and with amazing stories of a life fully lived, and honestly told.  And this only covers the first half of that life!  Wowza.

I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (309 pgs)

I reviewed this one in April 2019 and highly recommend it.  It is a tough read; her childhood (through age 16 is covered here, 1928-1944) was brutal.  But the language and the set up for the rest of the volumes make this absolutely necessary reading.  Heartbreakingly beautiful may be an overused term but it is appropriate here. (copyright 1969)

Gather Together in My Name (219 pgs)

Maya's life as a very young mother and the lengths she goes to to care for her child while still trying to grow up herself makes for another type of hard read.  Only covering a few years ('44-48) and not as difficult as the first book, this one will surprise you as you begin to see Maya's fire really come out as she struggles to find her way.  As famous as she later became, she is very open about her experiences here, and so begins a long and unbelievably varied list of occupations! (copyright 1974)

Singin' and Swingin' and Getting Merry Like Christmas (310 pgs)

Now this book was FUN!!!  (Covers 1949-1955) So many famous names begin appearing here as Maya's talents on stage become known and she travels to Europe touring with Porgy and Bess.  And gets a(nother) new name.  She struggles being away from her son, but revels in her glitzy life.  She is still so very honest with her mistakes, her feelings, her misgivings, her feelings of having no place.  But there is much humor here and friendship building and romance even.  Again, what a life!! (published in 1976)

The Heart of a Woman (346 pgs)

This one is probably my favorite of all.  Maybe because I am reading it during quarantine in the summer of 2020, after a year of social unrest, protest, and what is hopefully the beginning of a true awakening in the United States about racial justice, actions, feelings, and reactions.  To read these words almost forty years after they were written, feeling they could have been also from yesterday's news, is both disheartening for how things have not changed, and eye-opening for this privileged white girl.  Maya speaks truth, her truth, and truth for many black people.  She experiences systemic racism and manages to still be successful, truthful and bold.  She begins her writing career here with a writer's group in Harlem.  She meets Martin Luther King Jr and begins working for him, running the Southern Christian Leadership Conference office.  She also gets engaged, finds love, finds more adventure, and prepares to move again (a recurring theme in her life).  Fascinating stuff. (covers 1957-1962, written in 1981)

All God's Children Need Travelling Shoes (228 pgs)

In which, Maya and Guy move to Africa.

Boom.

Egypt, Liberia, Ghana. The back of this book states, "Maya...discovers that you can't go home again, but she comes to a new awareness of love and friendship, civil rights and slavery - and the myth of mother Africa."  You can FEEL Maya's yearning in this book - for understanding, for Place, for history and connection and roots.  She is treated as royalty here, then again is on her own and has to find her way.  This woman definitely has guts and makes her own way!  She finds that things are done very differently in Africa, and that she is an American Black rather than a native.  I was surprised to read about the American Black community that moved to Africa during this time; all seemingly looking for connection.  Still, the friendships she makes here are deep and beautiful, the things she learns and sees are invaluable, and her son plays a bigger part in this one as he becomes his own man too.   And whoa, that ending.  I will never cross a bridge again without thinking of that scene.  Shivers!!!  (in a good way!)

Written without chapter numbers, and in a style that seemed more like short stories put together, or essays even.  Will she stay in Africa?  For a while maybe, ('61-64) but remember that theme of motion?  Yup. (published in 1986)

A Song Flung Up to Heaven (173 pgs, c2002)

It is 1964.  Maya has returned to the US.  But her plans shift like sand in front of her for the first few years and emotions are running high in the US over racial inequality.  This one seems a little like a footnote, and she kind of skims over a lot for the four years she covers in this slim edition.  I do recommend reading the entire series, even if, like the author herself, it takes you a few years between books to finish.  What a fascinating life, and these are all before she truly begins to write.  This one ends with her beginning I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, so a nice little circle back.  I have never read her poetry; maybe in a few years I will come back to that!!!

Low Country by Anne Rivers Siddons

While this made me homesick for the coast in my home state - I could just smell the marsh and the Old Man's Beard! - the main character in this story is just short of annoying.  She is not the typical strong southern woman with a tragic past - she has the tragic past alright but not the shutz-pah I expected.  What strength she does have she pulls from her island (or sometimes, her bottle).  And, somewhat from her husband, who also did not get a fair shake or a fully fleshed out chance here.

The best thing about this story is not the main character though - or maybe I should say that the main character is not Caroline but the people who live on her island.  They have been there for centuries and they have their ways, their language, their connections.  And nothing and nobody will, nor should, move them.  Or the wild horses that live alongside.

Until Caroline's developer husband tries.

More devastation, more crying, more collapsing with disbelief, and one ghost child later, we have a story.  And secondary characters that are much more interesting than Caro and Clay.  (And listen, I am Southern born and raised and I never heard anyone named Caroline called Caro, but that's just me.)  Caroline stands up for what she believes in even through betrayal and loss, and I will say Clay completely redeems himself in the end, which made me happy.  

So, overall, an easy quick read, perfect for the beach or if you are looking for some relatively good, if slushy, Southern literature.   Now, if you want EXCELLENT Southern literature, go grab Pat Conroy.  Meanwhile, this will do (and won't require a dictionary like Conroy does, haha!)

The Revolution of Marina M. by Janet Fitch

The Revolution of Marina M.

By Janet Fitch

First off, this tome is 800 pages, so get ready.

Secondly, the last four words of the book are "End of Book 1." 

AACCCKCKKKKK!!

Now y'all know I love historical fiction. It has been a while since I read anything set in Russia, much less in 1916-1918 Russia. And this author has done her research. I could feel the cold, I could feel the despair and I could feel the revolutionary frustrations and energy from the Bolsheviks. And while I thought it would be a bit of a slog to get through and kind of heavy for summer, I could not put it down. I did get a little tired at the end and I was not jumping up and down to read the next book even with so many story lines unfinished. (What will become of Marina? What happened back at the summer home? Where is her one true love???) Of course there is a lot of conflict, and there are a few quite violent scenes, including a pretty graphic sexual assault (trigger alert here!). And in the last half some situations seem really really far fetched and unnecessary and just plain weird. Some of Marina's decisions don't fit with the person she is becoming, I think she gives up on Koyla too easily much to her disadvantage, and the whole scene at her old summer home with the people now living there - meh. Not sure I will dive into the second book, especially if it is this long again, but this is a good book if you are into epic novels about Russia or historical fiction. Very well written even with its plot flaws (imho). 

Into The Free by Julie Cantrell

(Note: I point out triggers in this novel which some may find to be spoilers, so proceed with caution. I don't name names or give too much away I don't think, but there you go. More than fair warning.)


In-ter-est-ing.

I just skimmed several other reviews of this book and am vindicated in my opinion here somewhat. Yet, still conflicted. Mightily.

I gave it four stars because it is so beautifully written. And, that is hard to do in the present tense I think! Made it kind of dreamy. Millie is a girl to root for, who has everything stacked against her, and we yearn with her in all her hopes and dreams. She has an abusive rodeo star father (tough to read about - in detail - but only abusive to her mother, let me clarify), a mother who slides between painkillers and severe depression, grandparents who want nothing to do with her, and a big ole' crush on a travelling gypsy. By the time she is 16 she has decided to run away with the gypsies. I would too!!!

Of course - conflict intervenes. Tragedy strikes. A nice nurse and a nice cowboy enter the picture and things change. As does the novel. I did not like the second half of this story - it is almost like two different stories - and the ending chapters really turned me off. There is a big trigger scene for sexual abuse that is graphic, terrible, and the aftermath is NOT well handled in my opinion. Maybe that is the way it (the aftermath) was back then, but I was not impressed at all with the reactions, or lack thereof. My only half hope for why that was even part of the story was because there is a book two and it must have repercussions. But, I am probably not going to read book two. Which is a shame because, like I said, this book was otherwise a pleasure to read, for the prose more than the storylines. I was annoyed with Millie and her seemingly Oh Well decision at the end, her treatment of her gypsy friend - almost like the book is almost over gotta sort this out! I would be willing to try other books by this author, but I think I am done with Millie, bless her messed up little heart. 

*Funny, I just listened to a podcast about trigger warnings. Did I mess up the story by revealing a rape? Am I turning some people away from this book because I have mentioned domestic abuse and sexual assault? Maybe. But I am a big advocate for knowing what you are getting into if you have triggers. I was shocked and so disappointed that the story took this turn in this book. So yes, this review seems very negative in the re-reading of it and I don't mean it to turn everyone off the story. It is worth reading, hence the four stars. BUT, if you are triggered by these things, or even if you are like me and just DON'T WANT TO READ ABOUT IT, especially right now during this pandemic where things are already stressful, then I do not want to lead you to a book that is upsetting, even if it is beautiful. Just my opinion, in my review. Happy to discuss further!

The Invention of Exile by Vanessa Manko

(If receiving this via email, please click on the title above to read the entire review, and check out other reviews on my blog at rawlesreads.blogspot.com!)

A very different writing style here - broken, gauzy, flowing.....not much dialogue but I think that is on purpose - really suits the story.  The story is Austin's - a Russian immigrant to the US who because of a language misunderstanding, ends up deported to Russia, then flees to Mexico, and begins the process of trying to legally enter the US.  His American wife takes their three children home to wait for him.

Begin Heartbreak.

This was a bit too depressing for me this summer - lots of themes here including family, loss, mental breaks, and lots of stubbornness!  Because Manko based this story on the true story of her grandfather, there is a certain poignancy as well.  But I was bored.  I skimmed.  Nothing much happened.  Which, as another reviewer pointed out, might be just exactly what the author was going for in atmosphere.  

I appreciated that Austin was so determined to enter the country legally, and was dogged in his efforts to make the Consulate hear him.  My husband is foreign as well (citizen now), and we went through all the hoops to get him into the US legally.  But this is 1934 and things are different.  Reds are the enemy; they will not listen to Austin.  So he keeps up with his inventions, his drafts, his brilliance, just knowing that they will see how much his work will help the US so they have to let him in to be with his family.

Bless his heart.

I expected the ending to be tragic.  Or at least hopeful.  But I did not feel either of these things.  I felt like I was missing the last chapter, it was that sudden.  I found myself even WISHING for the tragic ending over that.  Sigh.  What I will say is that the title makes a lot more sense at the end.  That, at least, was brilliant.  I think this author is worth watching as well.

In Another Life by Julie Christine Johnson

(As always, please click on the title to be taken to the blog for the entire review!  Please leave me a comment if you decide to read this one too!)

I actually really liked this book!  I frowned at the cover's statement that this book was in the vein of Outlander - you know that is my favorite series EVER, right?  So, nothing compares to Outlander.  

However, this was a good twist - more modern, no time traveling back and forth, but only the idea that a soul lost in one life can find comfort and closure through another.  So, yeah, you have to have an open mind here.  I liked the parallels to a previous time and the flashbacks that explained what might be happening. I liked that the flashbacks contained real life historical figures, and a real life "yes it happened but maybe not the way history said it happened" murder.  I liked how well fleshed out our main character is, even if the men in the story remained sketchy (double entendre, I love it).  This is a passionate love story too, but not racy.  A perfect beach read, if anyone is actually going to the beach........

Hanging Mary by Susan Higginbotham

Very pleasantly surprised by this book!  I am a fan of historical fiction, but I don't read much US history.  (Shame on me)  But after finishing Dan Abrams' Lincoln's Last Trial (about Lincoln's law career before he became President) earlier this year, I felt it fitting to read this book that has been on my shelf for a year or two about Lincoln's assassination.  And it is not even about the assassination itself - it is about the people involved and not involved and partially involved in the plot to bring the South back into the war and get revenge on Lincoln.  Specifically, Mary Surratt, John Surratt, Nora Fitzpatrick and of course, John Wilkes Booth.  Very strange to read a story about Booth as a man rather than just a wicked assassin.  But the focus really is on Mary and her part in the plot.  Higginbotham imagines things from Mary and Nora's (a young boarder in Mary's boarding house) alternating perspectives in the months leading up to April 1865.  Was Mary guilty of conspiring to kill the President?  Was she complicit or an innocent bystander, or somewhere in between?  How guilty was her son?  Students of history know there is no spoiler here regarding the ending; this story is more about the journey to that end.  Very well done!!!

Magruder's Curiosity Cabinet by H.P. Wood

What a delightful surprise this book was!

My sister in law started giving the same books to my mother and me (and her own self!) for Christmas a few years ago so that we could do a family book club.  This is one of those books!  She gave me all sorts of disclaimers - she had not read it, wasn't sure it would be any good, etc etc.  I always feel like with a random selection like this, you win some and you lose some.  Well, this one was a winner.

In further full disclosure, this is also a fictional account of a black plague like disease hitting Coney Island, NY, so that was also a surprise considering I picked it up to read during 2020's Pandemic Quarantine.  Truth is stranger than fiction, eh??

In 1904, 19-year old Kitty Heyward is newly arrived in NY from England after a traumatic discovery, only to be traumatized again by being mysteriously separated from her mother.  Enter a con man, a half man, a machine man, and a half and half, among other Colorful Carnival Characters.  Kitty and the others begin to form a new family while facing an unknown assailant in both the illness and the city's reaction to it as well as the "normal" and now increased discrimination towards the carnies.

The author debuts tremendous talent and potential with this book in my opinion.  She tackles so many issues with kindness, education, humor, tenderness and honesty.  The book alternates narrators so we get a view of life on both sides of the economy, while several of the characters also come to a new understanding of their own prejudices - and that works both ways.  No matter which character's head we are in, the reader feels fully invested and the characters are fully fleshed out.  Everything from automatons to leopards to gender fluidity to politics to fleas are covered here.

After all, real life is circus, too. 


PS - even with a handful of f-bombs, I would let my older teenagers read this one.  Not really historical fiction as there was no plague in NY at that time, but the other themes of acceptance of physical deformities, differing lifestyles, working together, and forming families are really well done here. As is the writing, which sometimes for me overrules all else.  I will definitely be searching up this author!!!

The Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg

I am a bit conflicted on this one.  So really, 3.5 stars.

At first I was like - YES!  A journal-ed story about a woman (like me) over 50 (like me) who feels a bit lost from her younger self (like me sometimes) who has a grown daughter (like me) and who runs away and just drives off on a road trip by herself with no warning to her husband.

Wait, what?

Now, the writing here is stellar.  Very lyrical, and heartfelt and brutally honest as only a woman can be about herself and her life when she is writing in her journal.  She also writes letters to her husband to assure him she hasn't left HIM, she just needed to go explore and get away and find herself.  I was with her until about half way through (plus I kept thinking, where is your cell phone???).

Half way through I felt like she was just whining.  She starts telling her husband in her letters what she really wants in life, and how he should get ready for when she comes home.  She is very sure of herself that he will still be there waiting when she does decide she is ready to go home, and she is very bossy.  And while I certainly connected with her feelings of sometimes being invisible and always on someone else's schedule, never her own, I really lost my sympathy for her as well.  This is a short novel, and I think it would have been interesting to have a bit of the husband's perspective.  He gets a good bashing here - but it is all about how he doesn't notice her, the real her  - which she herself has admitted she has lost as well.  So how is he supposed to notice what is no longer being shown??  And seriously, how many husbands would truly appreciate all those letters when you LEFT HIM??  If he is still there, she better hope he didn't change the locks.

Now, if I am also brutally honest - how WONDERFUL would it be to actually do what this woman did?  She just got in the car and drove.  Stayed where she wanted to stay, ate when and where she wanted to eat, stopped and talked to random people - just because she could.  She actually made the pipe dream happen.  She took control of the remote, so to speak.  She traveled with the best travel buddy ever - herself.  Maybe I am just jealous.  Women get like that when they look over the fence at that grass for too long.  And in the end, our yard is just fine, thank you.  Because I made it myself.

Not that my husband noticed.  ;-)

Lincoln's Last Trial by Dan Abrams and David Fisher

I do not usually read nonfiction.  I like to be entertained, taken to another place or time, etc. Not that I don't like learning, I just usually find nonfiction to be a bit dry.

Not so here, my friends!  Maybe because this book literally puts you in the midst of history with the very words spoken by our 16th President!  Dan Abrams, best known as a legal analyst on the news, has put together along with David Fisher a fascinating account of a court trial, a community divided and stirred up by the prospect of watching Mr. Lincoln do his thing, and history in the making.  I didn't even mind that there is absolutely no suspense - we know how the trial ends - but I found myself in anticipation of what Lincoln would do or say next.

It is 1859 in Springfield, Illinois.  Two local boys have a brawl and one ends up dead.  Is it murder or self defense?  And did you catch the year?  There will be a Presidential election in 1860 - one that will change the world.  And the lawyer hired to defend this case will be the one to do it.

As a lover of history myself, it was incredible to read Lincoln's actual words.  The book takes a lot of information from the transcriber at this murder trial who was familiar with Lincoln and was a consummate professional himself.  You really do get a personal feel for the man behind the tall hat.  The research here was immense and thorough - and even with all the subplots and flashbacks, I never felt that anything was superfluous.  The authors did a grand job of filling in the detail while pushing the trial story forward.  All the little details do come together like puzzle pieces to make a fascinating picture.

And seriously, all law students should be required to read this book.  A deep dig into the genesis of a self-defense approach and many other tidbits of original law in our country.  Indeed, this would make for great required reading in high school.  Will it win a Pulitzer?  Nah.  But that is not the point.  The point here is to bring to light a historic moment in the life of a great American, and in America itself.

I am charmed too, Dan Abrams.

Lockdown IV - Namecalling needs a vaccine

Today's rant:

Can we PLEASE STOP with the name calling???

Y'all.  Seriously.  Bring back the #begentle memes.  Everyone is affected by this virus - EVERYONE.  And everyone has their opinions on reopening, on staying home, on whether or not we should do this or that.  On what people should be allowed to do, and on what people should do even if they are "allowed."  It is more than a little bit complicated.  I change my mind daily!

But can we please refrain from calling people STUPID because they have a different opinion?  {And can we also please stop literally wishing death on those people you are calling stupid?  I am so sick of seeing that whole Darwin thing - "let's weed out the stupid people who want to go back to work because then the world will be a better place."  REALLY??}  Maybe they don't have a choice about going out and about.  Maybe keeping their homes depend on them getting back to work.  Maybe their mental health depends on getting out of the house.  Maybe their mental health depends on NOT leaving the house.  Maybe, just maybe, they have different problems than you do.  This year, it is the virus.  Next year, it could be suicide rates or homeless rates or real estate crises or yes, unemployment rates which can lead to both of the former and more!  Extremely complicated, and we don't even KNOW all the ramifications yet!

I am a stay at home mom with two teenagers.  I got nothing to worry about.  The part time job I had was unpaid because we owned the company.  Now, we don't.  And I don't really miss the job even if I miss connecting with the people. I don't mind staying home, I can craft and read and "piddle" in my house all day long.  Yesterday I enjoyed an unplanned hour or so sitting in our living room with my two kids, just chatting and laughing.  I really had a Be Still My Heart moment.  And did I mention they are teenagers???  It was the biggest blessing.

HOWEVER COMMA (as one of my teenagers says), not everyone can stay home.  Not every business owner or worker can literally AFFORD to just stay home.  The domino effect is going to be devastating.  And far reaching - so far that we cannot even see down that rabbit hole yet.  And business owners are in the same place as their workers - it is no different for Landlords or bosses or workers - we have all lost income.  Unless you work at Home Depot, are a Landscaper, or work for one of those yard sign companies, they are killing it!!!

And listen, we all know the truth, right?  We are not on Lockdown to avoid getting sick - the only reason we are on lockdown right now is to make room in the hospital for when we DO get this virus.  Or else we are waiting on a vaccine which won't come until next year.  2021.  Or 2022.  We do not know.  And more to the point, even when we do start reopening, it is UP TO YOU whether you choose to leave your house.  The law is not going to force you outside!  Stay home if you feel you should - no problem!  I probably will stay home for a while.  This is not about one person.  Which means there is not one solution.  Not everyone has to do the same as their neighbor.  Will we spike cases once people venture out?  Probably.  Can we avoid it forever?  Probably not.  Some will try, and that is fine.  People like my dad, immunocompromised,  should still not leave the house (sorry, Mom).  What about those hundreds of people who have already recovered?  Do they still need to quarantine?  We are getting reports now that you actually can get it twice.  Or can you?  Again, we do not know.

What we DO know is that we need each other.  It is bad enough that this is an election year; do we have to spill over along party lines into how to handle COVID-19 too??  Perhaps that is the lesson here.  All of us are facing getting sick.  Everyone has a different physical reaction to it - that is what makes us individuals I guess. The one reaction we need to avoid is the one where we react with spite, hate, disgust, and name calling while we wait.  It is not helpful.  We need a vaccine for name calling!  Stop it!!!  It is not stupid to go outside anymore than it is stupid to isolate indefinitely.  Both can have negative, even sometimes fatal, effects. Most current cases are from people who are actually "staying home."  So if you do go out, take precautions, of course. Wash your hands, wipe your steering wheels and doorknobs, wear your mask. That is not my point here. My point is that we should focus on what we can do, not what others should do.

And eventually, even I will need something else to do.  But don't worry, I will NOT run out of craft supplies or books to read.  As if.

The Antidote for Everything by Kimmery Martin

In Martin's second novel, she really brings her A game.  (A for Antidote???  Ha!)  And yes, there really is an Antidote for Everything - and yes, Kimmery, I agree, whole heartedly, with your prescription!  The title of this book takes on a whole new and introspective view once you finish the novel - I loved how it wrapped literally everything together - for life.

Dr. Georgia Brown (a secondary character from Martin's first novel The Queen of Hearts) and her bestest best friend EVAH, Dr. Jonah Tsukada, live and work in sunny Charleston SC.  When Jonah gets into trouble with his job, Georgia pulls out all the stops to help him, but ends up complicating matters.  That is a very broad description, since this story does get into some serious issues - discrimination in both employment and rights of service; abuse of body by self and by others; secrets held and secrets told; and best of all and once again, the depth of friendship and loyalty. 

Martin is a doctor herself, so she definitely knows of what she writes.  Calling this medical fiction is only a partial description though - she delves into all the issues above with seeming ease and melds them seamlessly into a fantastic and complicated story.  And her humor is injected (a-hem) throughout to much delight - this woman can flat out write great banter, which I have said before is the hardest thing (imho) to do - good dialogue.  Martin nails it.  I love the relationship between Georgia and Jonah - they love each other and are vulnerable with each other and also speak truth to each other.  Rare.  (Plus Jonah is hilarious.)  She also adds realism to this drama by including insight into things like how doctors feel during the delivery of good news to an anxious family.  And writes some beautifully descriptive sentences (an idea blooming like a flower; an angry rain; the debilitating loneliness of being alone...).

Throw in a secondary love story and a few medical crises and we have us a humdinger of a story.  Lots going on here - can't wait to discuss with my Bookworms (that is a term of endearment for my book club) - I just had to take off about a dozen sticky notes with my exclamations about sentences or plot or humor out of the book so I could lend it to my neighbor. 

But - I must disagree with her on one thing - when they make this into a movie (and I hope they will!), Georgia Brown should TOTALLY be played by Emma Stone (sorry, Reese)!  Oh, you haven't read Martin's blog?  Or her interview with PJ Vernon?  GET ON WITH IT!  Kimmery Martin also writes great book reviews, so check out her blog.  And then await alongside me for her third novel - you won't believe its subject or how long Kimmery has been working on it.  Just proves how brilliant she really is.  Well done, Ms. Martin, well done.  I can hardly wait to see what the Third Cover looks like!!!

The Angel's Game by Carlos Ruiz Zafon

(Please click the link to go to my blog to read the entire review! Thank you!!)

Ruiz Zafon is one amazingly talented writer. The translator, Lucia Graves, I would say is equally as talented.  Which makes for one beautiful experience.

I loved The Shadow of the Wind - top book for me.  If you have not read it, remedy this immediately by ordering a hard copy (or paperback) from your local bookstore (#supportlocal!).  You may as well order them both.  I would not say Angel is a sequel so to speak, but if you are going to read them both, which you are, please read Shadow first.  You'll thank me later.

Angel is again dark, sinister, twisty, and a bit dreamlike.  Our main Character, David, is once again a writer and he is also introduced to The Cemetery of Forgotten Books.  He is commissioned by a mysterious figure to write a new book - one that presents a new religion.  David is of course also in love with a woman he thinks he cannot have, and feels his progression towards a tragic end as he and his dogged assistant write said book and become more and more suspicious of his new boss' intentions.

I got a little bit slogged down in the last third of this novel.  It became a little too similar to Shadow - or so I thought. But slog on friends, to an ending you will NEVER see coming and which will make everything clear.  Clear as mud.  Karma is a bitch, but I am left wondering if David really deserved what he got, or if he was an innocent victim of circumstance.  Or of a conspiracy.  This one redefines tragic.  But it is not totally sad either.  Mysterious indeed!!!

Moody, beautiful, atmospheric - you can almost see the mist in the movie covering the streets of Barcelona in the early 20th century.  Not a quick read, but a good one.  The author splits his time between Barcelona and LA.  Hmmmm, I wonder if there is a Cemetery of Forgotten Books in LA????  Book Three, perhaps??  I am IN.

Lockdown, Part 3

Ok, y'all, so I was reluctant to post this Rawles' Rambling blog 9 days ago when I wrote it.  I wanted to sit on it a while and see how I felt about what I wrote, thinking I would tweak it and change it and probably water it down.  This is super personal for me.  I sat on it longer than I thought, and now, on DAY 36 (April 20) of Lockdown, I am glad I did not change any of it.  Apologies for the length. I am verbose, I know.  I can't help myself.  Unusual times call for unusually long blog posts. Ha.  See below, and then I will expound on how things have changed, or not, in the last nine days for me....


Day 27 of Lockdown 2020 (April 11):

Annoyances/Anxieties:
*  I am actually anxious that I will look back on all this "TIME" and feel like I did not get enough done.  I am feeling tremendous pressure to be productive, and that pressure is coming from within.  I am scared I will regret not using this time more wisely.  This makes me more anxious than the thought of getting sick at this point!  I should be learning sign language or how to cook or watching all those movies and shows I keep meaning to watch and deep cleaning the cabinets and baseboards (ok, I did dust the baseboards in the first week).   So much to do, so much time to do it!!!!!
*  So much bad news!!!!!!!!  My kids don't even want to watch the news.  We have gone to only watching one news program at night just to try to be informed (well, my husband watches the business channel most of the day, so we do get a lot from that).  But it is depressing, and I am not a depression-prone person!  All those numbers!!
*  So many people are talking about how much cooking they are doing and how they have family dinners again and family game nights!!  Not.  (Not here, that is.  Makes me feel like a guilty, bad mom. I don't like to cook.)
*  I can't see my parents.  Or my brother.  Or my bffs.  Or anyone who doesn't live here!
*  I am still walking every day with my doggie, but I am not working out.  Therefore, the COVID- 5 or 10.  Hopefully NOT 19!!!!
*  Yep, I am overeating.
*  I am afraid we are all going to be afraid of each other at the end of this.  We will stand a bit further apart.  We will be suspicious of our neighbors and react anytime someone coughs. We will no longer shake hands.
*  More of an interesting thing I have noticed, but I am actually having trouble reading.  I can't sit still long enough to concentrate and get lost in my book.  That is a bit scary but in my head I understand.  I am reading a beautiful book right now (stay tuned), but I am also writing blog posts that are not book reviews.  My mom, who is a more voracious reader even than I, said the same thing.  She's having a hard time settling in to read.  But I have no trouble binge watching The Black List with my husband every night!!!  Poor Mr. Kaplan!  But I digress.
*  My daughter cannot visit colleges this Spring to help decide where she wants to go to college in 2021.  She is a high school junior.  While I know everyone has talked about how the Seniors are all getting screwed out of Prom and Graduation, I think the Juniors are equally missing out in their own way.  How will she know where she wants to go without that "you'll know it when you see it" experience?  Virtual sessions don't do it and they all sound exactly the same.   The SATs have been cancelled, and her AP exams will all be shortened, adding more pressure on these kids.
*  When will this END?



Silver Linings:
*  I am actually LOVING staying home.  I am not missing the obligations of socializing or my part time sales job.  I do of course miss seeing my friends and being face to face, but the introverted side of me is doing a happy dance.  I have both my kids home, and while we are not doing family dinners or game nights or any of that stuff, they are HOME.  Probably not a silver lining for my college kid, but I will take it.  This is all about me, after all.
*  Lower pollution, decline in crimes (everyone is home, you can't break in!!!), forced family fun, more sleep (no alarms!!!), going on a bear hunt.
*  People are TRULY trying to support local businesses.  We are owners of two, and we have been overwhelmed at how with one especially, people have been so supportive.  People are sewing masks and taking groceries to others and learning how to Zoom so they can see each other's faces.  It is heartening how creative we are!!!!
*  I have Zoomed four times and Facetimed many.  I was not really a FT user before now and had never heard of Zoom, but man it makes a difference to SEE who you are talking to!!
*  Despite my anxiety about not getting enough done, I have actually accomplished some long delayed tasks around the house.  I totally cleaned out my closet and got rid of three drawers worth of clothes.  I completed a few art projects, one of which still had the receipt in it showing I had bought it 10 years ago.  I cleared out three cabinets in my laundry room.  I cleaned the chandeliers in my kitchen - gross.  Thanks for that idea, Tina!  I learned to play Catan.  I finished the 30 days of yoga videos I started back in September.  I started another set of yoga vids - I am on day 3.  I started writing.  I kept reading.  I have date nights with my husband to watch a show we both like and we actually discuss it!!  I had a Zoom session with College friends I haven't seen in years, just because we "had time."  I wrote a letter.  I watched a Book Club meeting online.  So, it should not matter that I still have 12 coloring books to finish and 14 shows I always wanted to watch.  If this whole situation can teach us anything, it is my hope that it can teach us to focus on the positive.


Things I've Learned:
*  I am NOT ready for my hair to go grey.
*  Everyone needs a hobby.  I cannot imagine what people are doing that don't have a hobby.  I have seen a lot of puzzle making and gardening going on, as well as the inevitable house de-cluttering.  I have done some of the latter, but my main focus has been my crafting.  I am a scrapbooker and I have been getting a LOT of scrapbook pages up to date.  Makes me feel good, and productive (see above).
*  It takes forever to clean an oven by hand.
*  Wearing an athletic bra all day will convince you that you have the virus because you CANNOT BREATHE in these things!!!  Also, see above about gaining weight but not being able to go to a store to buy a new athletic bra that fits, and there ya go.
*  People handle crises in so many different ways.  While I don't want my hair to be grey (yet), grey is an important color right now.  It just cannot be black and white.  You can tell people to stay home, yet they will go to the grocery store and to Lowe's because they can.  And then they will complain about how many people they saw at the grocery store and at Lowe's.  Everybody has their own reasons for being out and about right now, and as one meme said, we need to be gentle.  They will say they have to self - isolate, then ask you to go on a walk together (walking on either sides of the street of course).  People need to work, need to matter, need to pay bills, need to be together.  We are mainly a social species.



DAY 36 of Lockdown..... Review

* I am still a bit anxious about what my friend Lauren called "erased time," and regretting not doing something amazing or educational during lockdown, but my friend Karen sent me an article about making Daily Done lists instead of the overwhelming To Do list, and that makes me feel much better.  I have great friends!  (see what I did there?  a negative became a positive!!!)

* I am being intentional about finding GOOD news.  A recent Zoom with my church was getting to be such a downer that I asked for Good News from everyone - amazing how people perked up.

* We have had several game nights, I cooked dinner once last week so everyone ate at the same time, we have a menu for this week and I pushed for a movie night with one daughter by bribing her with a Marvel movie so she'd some out of her room and spend time with me, even if in a dark room watching tv - so instead of erased time, that became FOUND time.  Took me a month but maybe I am getting my groove now??

* I am still eating chocolate every day (got to), I am still drinking more than I probably should, but I am also now working out more.  Still walking every day but I got back to the yoga and am now using our new treadmill.  So, I feel better physically.  I took one walk with a neighbor (6 feet apart of course) and since the pollen is behaving my husband can go with me on walks.  Not sure if that is good news or not....haha!!!

*  I still wonder about how we will act towards each other when we get back to our new normal.  Even on my walk with my friend I was nervous about how close she was to me.  That is sad.  I don't want to be suspicious and wary of my friends.  I am saddened by how even this pandemic has become political, dividing my friends into camps of "stay home to save lives" and "open up to save livelihoods."  As small business owners, we are torn.  We want people to be safe, but we need the business to be open so we can pay our bills.  And so our employees can pay theirs.  But of course we don't want them exposed, they are family.  There are no easy answers.  I did finish my one book, and started another, but it is still slow going.  Still can't concentrate.  And I am finding myself slipping a bit on the "rules of engagement."  I am not washing my hands as much and I have to force myself to wipe down the steering wheel and doorknobs after I have been to the grocery store.  And is it just me or do y'all feel eerily dirty when you come out of the grocery store???  Weird.

* Our daughter that is in the college search spent Spring Break doing virtual tours, speaking to an admissions professional about his predictions for the New Norm in College admissions, and digging into major programs to see what would interest her.  Still not happy about not being able to visit, but hopeful that we will be able to do so later this summer.  We adjusted.

* I am not really wondering when this will end. (I am not sure it will, really, just will make a new way of living until we get a vaccine.)  I am still "enjoying" this time.  I am usually a big planner, and while sometimes the days get away from me a la preschool years, other days I am feeling pretty good about the right now and I'm not really looking at whether our summer plans will happen.  Our Spring plans sure didn't!!!  But, it doesn't really worry me.  Defense mechanism maybe, but I don't see anything wrong with it.  I can't control it, why worry about it??

* My silver linings still stand.  Still doing lots of my crafting, but less of my de-cluttering.  We are in Season 6 (final season on Netflix) of The Black List, and have season 3 of Ozark cued up.  We have settled into a bit of a routine, and everyone has claimed their physical space for the daytime.  Although, I am feeling bad for my college kid - she really should not be home right now.  Bless her.  She is handling it well though.  I know she will be sick of us after 6 months at home!

* And I still am not ready for grey hair.

Hang in there, friends, and try to focus on the positives!  I am a firm believer that silver linings exist everywhere; sometimes you just have to look deeper for the sparkle.  And we now have the time to do just that.  Peace and health and wash your hands.

Under a Dark Summer Sky by Vanessa Lafaye

Florida Keys, 1935.  The people of Heron Bay still remember the Flu of 1918, the Veterans from the first World War are shunned, and racial tensions are very high in this small beachside town.  And that is a normal day.  Now add a brutal attack on a white woman, a deputy who hits his unfaithful wife, a young black nanny with not a single hope for her future except the love she has for the precious white baby boy she tends, and a storm on the way.  A BIG storm.

Now, we have ourselves a story and a half.

Pretty simply written, this novel takes no prisoners (yep, that's a pun) when it comes to describing emotional tension, the despicable treatment of black people by whites, the daily horror of abuse both mental and physical, and the apocalyptic destruction that a hurricane can bring. The author has done her research.   Each character she brings to life is fleshed out nicely, and there are a lot of characters here.  Henry is a black veteran who has finally come home on a Veterans program to build a bridge.  He was treated as an equal during his time as a soldier in France; now he is hurt and confused by how little has changed back home and how the veterans are relegated to an inadequate and miserable campsite to live.  Missy has waited 18 long years for Henry to come back from war, putting her life on hold for the sake of hope.  The Deputy's wife is caught in an affair only by giving birth to a mulatto baby.  And former beauty queen and Daddy's girl Hilda has lost her beauty under the disgusted eye of her egotistical husband.  We get a glimpse into several other families' lives in the days before a category 5 Hurricane hit the Keys with 185 mph winds.  Having lived through a few Hurricanes in my life, the description here of what actually happened is just surreal, and very well done.

Now, it sounds like this book is all doom and gloom - it is not!  Obviously there will be loss of life among the characters; but it is the relationships that stand out.  I was interested in how it would all end of course, but also interested in what motivated these people.  What would you sacrifice for others in the midst of disaster?  What (or who) would you go back to save?  What is the limit of our endurance in the face of an extreme life event (as questioned in the back of the book)?  And what is our relationship to food?  This is a story set in the South after all, during a Labor Day picnic, and it is interesting to see how traditional foods (and one lemon cake) are so important!  And really, what does make us human??  (Another question at the end of this book.)

Today is April 1, 2020.  We are not quite at the peak of the COVID-19 Pandemic where I live.  These questions really hit home to me in light of our current "extreme life event."  We wonder what life will be like after all this is over, or if it ever will be over.  Will people continue to reach out to others?  Will we be more appreciative of what we have and less worried about what we want?  Will we love each other better because of this shared experience?  Or will we just go back to the way we always do things??  There is a Epilogue to this story that gives some hope. And right now we could all use some hope!

Stay well.  Keep reading.  Have Hope.

Stay Home and Read! (or, Lockdown, Part 2)

Well, I got one book read!!! Whoo hoo!

Our family has now completed two full weeks of self-quarantine.  Except, we (the parents) have left the house 3 times.  Twice for groceries and once (with kids in car) just to drive around before NC went on lock down.  Now we can't even joy ride.

And you know what?  I am OK with that.  After all, that is what Quarantine means.  NO CONTACT.  This whole thing of "Oh, it's ok as long as we are six feet apart, so let's party!" is what is making me crazy.

NO!  JUST STAY HOME!  The six feet thing is only a recommendation if you HAVE to be out.  Yes, I am using capitals because I am YELLING AT YOU PEOPLE!!!!

My father is immunocompromised and 80 years young and very active- a big traveler.  He has to stay home.  A lady on his street tested positive.  My hometown lost a fine man last week to this virus.  Everyone knows someone that is affected, and now, at this point, pretty much everyone knows someone who has died from or is seriously ill from this virus, or will do within the next 10-14 days.  Because we are not yet at the peak.  So, stay home!  Save my Daddy!!!!!!

The other thing that is making me crazy is the negativity on social media. (We are not going to talk about how much time I spend looking at all the crazy, that is for another day, but suffice to say that is exactly why I turned it off and came here to my place of comfort.)  Stop posting memes that are incendiary.  Stop linking iffy stories or horror stories that will make depressed, anxious people even more so, or angry people really bubble up and point all the fingers.  Want bad news?  Watch the News.  Please for the love of sunshine give me something HAPPY!!!!  That is what our world needs - happy.

Like the story of Phil.  At the University my daughter attends (attended?  Online attends???), one student forgot to pack his philodendron plant.  Named Philip.  After his father, Phil, and his sister, Phyllis.  Yes, all were cut from the same plant owned by the student's father from his days at this same University.  But poor Philip was left behind.  And then the roommate knocked him over and broke his house, er, pot.  So Philip's prognosis was not good.

Mom emails housing, and pleads for this admittedly low priority item to be looked into.  Lo and behold, we have a new tradition, as Philip was gallantly rescued, placed 6 feet away from all other plants in the Office of Housing, and has since had a few Flat Stanley-like posts of his travels over campus before lockdown.  He even had "surgery" to transplant him (a-hem) to a new pot, complete with medical chart and band-aids.

Oh, the joy I have gotten from watching this hilarious and heartwarming story!!!  That is what I want my Facebook feed to be full of!!  That is how we will all get through this!

Huh.  This is not at all what I meant to write when I sat down.  Is this how authors do it?  Sit down with one thing in mind and then WHAM they are 1,482 miles west of where they started??

Huh. In any case, I feel better.  Back to my book, which is set in Florida in 1935, and there is a storm coming.  Appropriate.

Hope these characters do not end up in Mexico.  ;-)

My Cousin Rachel by Daphne du Maurier

If you are receiving this as an email, please remember to click the link to read the entire review on the blog.  Thank you!!


Ahhh, literature. 

Good writing, excellent scene description, mystery, love, horses, veiled faces, and veiled plans.  I just love a really good and well executed book.

Pun not intended, haha.

du Maurier is of course best known for Rebecca, that Grandmere of Gothic Romance.  There is a reason why that novel is so famous and well loved.  The author is amazing and creative and tells a fabulous twisted tale of star-crossery.  England, sometime in the early part of the 19th century. Philip's beloved cousin and surrogate father Ambrose goes on vacation in Italy and suddenly this confirmed bachelor writes that he has married.  Phillip is jealous of course, but soon the letters from Cousin Ambrose become concerning.  Philip goes to Italy, he who has never left the house and farmlands of his youth, to track down Ambrose and meet this mysterious woman.  And so is set in motion the next year of his life.  Meet Rachel he finally does, to strange result. Is Rachel guilty or innocent?  Was Philip doomed from the start?  Was he too sheltered, too innocent, or did fate just intervene??  Such a great story, a fabulous escape, with just enough foreshadowing to make you a wee bit nervous, but are you nervous for Philip or for Rachel? Or both?

My version of this book has the movie for a cover, and a wonderful introduction by the man who brought us the film.  He explains how the characters and the novel itself are perfect ambiguity.  I agree.  A great read, a classic read, and now I want to go read her OTHER 15 novels.  WHAT??

Pandemic. And no, I am not talking about a book. (Lockdown, part 1)

Hi Friends,

So, here we sit.  In our houses.  Quarantined.  Today is March 24, 2020.  For me and my family, it is Day 9 of self-isolating because of COVID-19.

And I have only read one book.

What is HAPPENING IN MY WORLD????

Everyone's worlds are being rocked right now.  We have a new language:  Pandemic, Zoom, Quarantine, Wash Your Hands, and Flatten the Curve.  We are finding creative ways to stay busy and stay in touch.  So far I have cleaned out my clothes closet, producing 6 bags of clothes and shoes I will no longer wear (ok, fine, they don't fit.  At the end of this quarantine I will probably find another bag or two that don't fit either, but that is off point.).  I have actually vacuumed the baseboards, written some letters - BY HAND - and finished a scrapbook of our trip to Australia last year.  I have cleaned out some things in my craft room, done a yoga video every day (almost), colored with my daughter, and introduced the kids to MY James Bond - Pierce Brosnan.  And my hubby and I are binging The Blacklist until midnight every night - omg I love James Spader!!!!  But one thing I am NOT doing is cooking - you people are on your own for that.  Teaching my kids to cook by default, I am.

But I have only read one book.  Maybe because I think I should be busier than that.  Maybe because I feel guilty reading.  I thought at first that oh, I will have time to finally get through that shelf of books I keep putting off, books that my mom or my sister in law have given me, books I bought I cannot remember when, books I passed over in favor of newer purchases.  I started in January, and have read about 3 of them this year, but now I am actually one book behind on my Goodreads Challenge.  ACCKKK!!

I am on my second book of the quarantine now - a Daphne du Maurier called My Cousin Rachel - thank you Dottie!!  I had no idea she had written so many books!! (17 Fiction, plus 8 nonfictions) This one is dark, a bit gothic, and so far VERY engaging.  Who knew it was written 70 years ago?  Man, she is good.  Plus, Rebecca is one of my top five books, and one of the first I remember reading as a teen - along with Gone With the Wind.  I am glad I finally picked it up.  I am hopeful that I will be able to read several more during these uncertain weeks, especially now that today NC declared a Stay at Home order, and my local bookstore sadly must close by tomorrow.   I will continue to read what I have, and support local businesses as I can.  Meanwhile, I am focusing on any silver lining I can find:  more time with my college freshman, home from college a wee bit early; time to enjoy a TV show my husband and I both enjoy; time to clean, purge, do all those little projects you keep putting off in the house; time to craft and color and make a playlist and have some simple fun.  Make those phone calls (I gotta call Uncle Bill), pull out those "Been Meaning To's" in the back of the laundry room or locker or bedside table.  Make a list (my favorite!!) of the movies on Netflix or Amazon that you would enjoy, IF YOU HAD TIME.  Cuz, guess what?  Time is what it is all about right now.

Tell me what you are spending this Found Time doing, even if it is just dreaming up new stuff you COULD do, if you had time.