The Challenge of Challenges

 Happy New Year!!!

I don't know about you, but I am already tired of hearing about resolutions, dry Januarys, and thinking about how much weight I have to lose this year. 

Mainly because of those very words:  HAVE TO.

So, when my Book Idol Anne Bogel of Modern Mrs. Darcy and What Should I Read Next fame announced that she would NOT be issuing a reading challenge this year, it stopped me cold.  At first, I was like, "Cop-out!"  Cuz ya know your girl LOVES a good list to check things off of.

And then, I felt the relief.

And I understood exactly where she was coming from.  I have done several reading challenges in the past.  You know, the ones that say "read a book with a blue cover" and "read a book translated from another language" or "read a debut novel or a book on your shelf or a reread blah blah blah ...."  And I actually hated it and felt I was wasting my time.  These were not books I wanted to read, these were books I forced myself to read just to complete somebody else's list.  I still see it in lots of places (well, mainly Facebook because I hardly see real live faces anymore):  on other Book lover group pages, in my friends' posts, and in my own brain too.  How many books can I read this year?  What number should I put on my Goodreads challenge?  How in the world did that lady read 500 books in one year?  It even translated to my fitness goals - there is NO WAY someone on iFit actually worked out a thousand times in one year.  But the tracker says so and now I feel bad because I didn't get there.  

See, there is the problem.  Well, ONE of the problems. 

People, this is not a competition!!  Or at least, it shouldn't be!

I always grade (judge?) myself by how many books I have read in a year.  I typically read about a book a week, so my Goodreads Challenge stays at 52 every year.  I know better than to try to "challenge" myself to increase that number, and in 2021 when I knew I was moving house for the first time in 18 years and also sending both kids off to college for the first time, I was gentle and only aimed for 40.  I do know myself and could feel the stress of it even then.  My friends all know me as a Big Reader, so I do feel the pressure of living up to that moniker.

But this year, I want my Reading Life to be different.  I want it to be less about how many books I read and more about WHAT I am reading.  I want to read the books I want to read, when I want to read them.  I want to read more classics and start clearing off my TBR shelf.  See, right there in the middle of typing that sentence I even pivoted and gave myself some space by saying I am going to START, not that they all HAVE TO be read this year.  (There are enough physical books there to literally fill out my Goodreads number anyway.  I am supposed to be on January restriction from buying books but I accidentally went to The Book Rack on Wednesday, oops.)

Yesterday I was listening to Episode 313 of What Should I read Next, and the guest, Jim Mustich, really hit the nail on the head.  He said something to the effect of "Your relationship with books and reading is more important than any challenge."  And that is what I want to focus on this year.  Quality, not quantity.  I think this will actually be hard for me (uh-oh, is this a challenge too??).  I am very guilty of comparison and competition and reputation!  

Now, the list lover in me still wants a record of what I have read.  My daughter is an expert bullet journalor and is helping me figure this out.  So I made a one page "bookshelf" of blank books (see pic below) that I will fill out - in color! - as I go.  But the view is different.  I am writing them in as I go, rather than having a list staring at me in indignation that I am not checking it off quickly enough.  I am approaching it from the "here's what I did" angle rather than "here's what I HAVE TO do" angle.  I am hoping this will be less stressful, less competitive and more about enjoying what I read.  I did give myself a jump start in deciding WHICH of my currently owned books are my priorities, so those are already written in, but I chose 12 so I can read one a month if I want, no more.  Whatever else I read is a bonus.  I think once I get started it will somehow be easier.  I am also taking notes into one dedicated notebook as I read to help me remember what it was that I loved about the book as I am reading it, and that will obviously slow me down too.  But in doing that, for me, I lose a sense of anxiety about forgetting that one sentence or event or word that made me put the book down and just sit with it for a minute.

And THAT is what I love most about reading.  That enjoyment of savoring and acknowledging and appreciating the craft of storytelling.  The journey - not the destination.

Plus, coloring in my new bookshelf log will be kinda fun for this crafter too! No matter how you do it, or why, I wish you Happy Reading!