I love words. Beautiful, descriptive words and sentences. I am a Reader. I love prose. But:
Social Distancing.
Flatten the Curve.
Masks Required.
Synchronous.
Lockdown.
Quarantine.
Quarantini.
PPE.
Zoom Bombers.
Covid Cancelled.
Six Feet Apart.
Doomscrolling.
Mask it or Pack it (college hashtag)
And the Granddaddy of them all - NEW NORMAL.
Oh, my God, if I hear that one more time! I am so sick of hearing that we are living in a New Normal. There is nothing normal about life in the United States of America right now. Yes, it is an Election year (insult to injury much?). Yes, it is August so "school" has started back in a variety of Non-Normal forms. Yes, it is still hot as heckfire down here in the South. But it is also still March in my head. Summer never happened. Just the same day OVER AND OVER again. One friend said her son hit the nail on the head when he said, moping,"Mom, I have nothing to look forward to."
Wow.
I have heard several people lately (six months into the COVID-19 pandemic) say they are feeling unmoored, strange, can't-put-their-fingers-on-it weird. It is not really depression, just unfocused and exhausted. This morning I read an article about "surge capacity" and that we are at its limit (linked below). A couple of other new terms hit me pretty hard in this piece: how our "rhythms of life" are upended and for people who like a schedule, this has been devastating. For over-achievers who are not allowed to achieve in the usual way, this has been devastating. (Not to mention those who have suffered from the virus itself, either personally or through loss - extremely devastating.)
Another term this author used is the current feeling of "disinterested boredom," which I totally get. I find myself standing in my kitchen some days. Literally just standing there. I cannot make a decision as to what to do, and my usual interests have waned a bit after six months, so I end up doomscrolling - WAY too much scrolling. Even my weekly To-Do lists are not really helping much. I am still reading and enjoying that, but still also feel guilty just sitting there and reading a book. I still feel like I should be doing Something (and I just realized I might be reading but the reviewing part...well......). But, all these restrictions mean that I have to find a new Something to do. And anything new is, well, restricted. ARRGGGGHHHHH!
Six months ago my omniscient husband said to me, "This is going to last at least six months." I guffawed. Seriously? Who could think this sudden halt to life as we knew it on March 14 would last into the fall and disrupt going back to school? Who could think the numbers would get so high for positives and deaths? Who could think that this mind-numbing lockdown of Normal might even last two years? It is like a never ending labor with no delivery in sight.
I am usually a very positive person. I am all about the silver linings. But even my linings are starting to tarnish. I am watching my family lose their joy. I have not seen my parents since Christmas and they only live an hour and a half away. Granted, I have lost no family or friends to this virus (but I know those who have). For that I am very grateful, so I know I should have nothing to complain about in the big scheme of things.
However, here we are in the little scheme of things, living every day and Groundhogging it like crazy. Pun intended, ha. Give yourself grace, they say. Pick up a new hobby, they say. Do Something for others Clean out your Closet Enjoy the Slower Pace Blah Blah Blah.
I am officially OVER IT. I hereby announce and require that going forward the term should be "This Temporary Normal." At least that gives me some hope. I understand in my head that we can never really go back to what Normal was pre-Covid (oh, there is another new term), but I must sincerely also believe that the current way of life will be Temporary.
Ok, wow. I have heard other people say they felt a blog post coming on (Hello, Dartinia! And her blog posts are required reading, see below). But, I never felt the push as much as I did this morning. Self Care sometimes just means blowing off steam and not being sorry for it. I mean, I can't go get a massage! I think I will go hit the Treadmill (I am focused on those iFit Challenge Magnets - like an obsession!! Here's to hoping that is NOT a temporary normal even if the treadmill was a Covid Purchase), take a shower before 3:00, watch another episode of The Umbrella Academy, and promise to write more blogs.
And be more like Lauren, who posted this morning about her new habit of walking the church gardens while listening to our service. She loves it. She shares it. It calms her and gives her a schedule. Now, that is the kind of "New Normal" - positivity - I can get behind. Will it be temporary? Probably. But Lauren's post put the reins on my despair a little bit, as did the article below. Plus, I called Dartinia. Life's silver linings got a little shinier just now. Nice.
I feel better now. I just feel sorry for the person at Webster who has to add all these new terms to the dictionary.
Your "Surge Capacity" is Depleted article by Tara Haelle:
Dartinia's blog: https://medium.com/@dartiniahull
Lauren's blog: https://ourteachertribe.com/blog/
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